Song: Black hole sun won't you come, and wash away the rain

I had a very fightening and realistic dream last night. My friend Julie died. She was murdered. I think she was strangled by some guy that she knew. Funny how dreams can get so realistic that I can vividly remember the pain I felt in the dream. Well if someone dies in your dream, it's supposed to mean good luck in real life for that person so I hope something good happens to her. God knows she needs it.

Yesterday at church I had a lil breakdown. Well I don't think "breakdown" is the right word for it. Sounds too harsh. Right after the praise worship I just felt so tired and burdened that tears started coming to my eyes. Lately I've been feeling a lot of pressure and burden from church and I guess it all finally hit me yesterday. "Nuh moo him deu ruh", I said to Sung Gu. Especially now that Jen is not in praise team anymore, it's been very very hard. But I never wanted to say anything and honestly I don't think I realized it myself either until yesterday when I got totally body slammed by the sudden fatigue. Having too much responsibility puts such a great burden on your shoulders that even the strongest falter at times. So I excused myself and stepped outside for a bit. It was a gorgeous day yesterday. About 60° and sunny. I'm just like a flower that the sunshine instantly put me in a better place. Took a few deep breaths to get me back on my feet and headed back inside. Couldn't stay out there for too long, I had a lot of stuff to do inside. Pressure doesn't bother me but sometimes I just need a break from it and I don't get too many chances to do that. But it's ok cuz God never gives you anything you can't handle and if it's something especially difficult, He gives you the strength to get through it. Funny how that can come out of my mouth. But remember, I believe in God, I just have a lot of problems with organized religion. Anyways enough of this stuff. I'm out.

Write me.

12:54 PM

Just fought with a stupid Korean customer who's yelling at me that he received the wrong merchandise when in actuality someone in his office just ordered the wrong thing. You think I'm gonna sit there and take that crap? Hell no! I yelled right back at him that I sent exactly what was ordered and that he should get his facts straight. Asshole. So anyways arguing = adrenaline rush so I'm definitely not sleepy anymore.

previous - next