Song: The end of a Korean song that I forgot the name to but can't get out of my head.

Here's another funny list. It's even funnier cuz it's from real medical records. Are these true oppa?

Actual Medical Records

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over ayear.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr.Smith to dispose of him.

Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert butforgetful.

The patient refused an autopsy.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.

Skin: somewhat pale but present.

Admitted in error.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Jones, who felt that we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

Yes these aren't real entries and I'm being lazy. Heh heh heh~ But isn't it scary that the people that write these are the same people that take care of you in the hospital?

previous - next